Today is the first day of the rest of my life. It is also the first day of the new year. I have been promising myself to start a journal since...well, I don't know when. So...here it is. Hopefully, writing will give me some insight to my angst.

The Queen referred to the worst year of her life as an "anilus horribilus". I think that's it. Anyway, 2008 was not my favourite. There were some great spots. Got some really good grades at school, met some really great women that I can have real friendships with.

The bad stuff? Husband working in Africa, a son with bi-polar disorder, a daughter with an anxiety disorder, another son who seems to have stagnated, one of my two cats with a terminal illness, a job that is beginning to burn me out. Sounds pretty lame, eh? Well, it's all about perspective. If feels pretty crappy to me.

I can remind myself about the hundreds of people I saw in Lagos, who were living under the highway. Or the may with severe scoliosis and one leg begging on a busy bridge. I look at them and I feel grateful to have the tangible things in life - a home, food, work, health. But because I am self-absorbed, I can only see the cup half-empty, and focus on what is not going well.

Okay. Let's start with one positive for today. I just had a great cup of coffee. That is all I can muster right now. I will think of something else tomorrow.